I'm 30 something, with 7 kids (4 acquired through marriage). I have 2 birth children and one adult child, my oldest is technically an adult with a lot of growing up still to do.
I have lived in 5 different states (moved back to the same state twice) and now back to the same state that I ran from to begin with.
Call it running from drama, commitment, childhood issues, or whatever, one thing even a blind man can see.....I'M A RUNNER!
Surprisingly enough though, I'm actually a very strong, independent, RESPONSIBLE woman with an extreme work ethic. The key word here is...EXTREME! My strengths are also my weaknesses. I take independence to a whole new level. I refuse to ask anyone for help, allow anyone to ever think I need help, don't trust anyone to 'do it right' (because lets face it, if I don't do it...IT'S NOT RIGHT), and I always Always ALWAYS have a 'plan B'.
Since I refuse to let anyone EVER see my weaknesses, I live my life emotionally detached, extremely guarded, and disconnected from all friends and especially family.
So how did I land ANOTHER HUSBAND? I am actually the best person to ever have on your side. I painfully empathize with any one's struggles, Got your back almost to a fault, not a cheater, can't stand lying, put my family's need before my own, and try as hard as i possibly can prevent my children, my husband, or anyone I can to ever ever have to experience even a morsel the pain I have had to deal with in my life.
And my life has and still is very painful. If I had to bullet point my life it would be something like this:
- Born in 197(something)
- Watched mom's battle with cancer
- Turned six
- Watched mom lose the battle
- Learned how family court works
- Discovered not all men are 'good' guys
- Turned twelve
- Tried to find out for myself if there is a such thing a reincarnation
- Hospitalized for that 'experement' in life and death
- Diagnosed with 'Depression' and 'Emotionally Handicapped'
- Turned fourteen
- Was reminded that not all men are 'good' guys
- Turned sixteen
- Declared as an emancipated minor
- Turned eighteen
- Began my 'gypsy' journey
- Had Baby....
So, What am I trying to accomplish? I don't know. Maybe just to share my experiences. Maybe to show others where NOT to go and what NOT to do, or maybe just to 'write it out'. But one thing I do know.....I'm tired of ignoring the elephant in the room. Its time to acknowledge the obvious!! Time to say what needs to be said . Have those 'Discussions' we have been avoiding!