tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21974801252398903802024-03-08T01:02:23.255-07:00Does Anyone Else See The Big Ass Elephant In The Room?Conversations about the going's on in the life of the world we all live in - and some of the dumb ass people who live in it with us. Nothing is off limits and nothing is sugar coated.Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-69057226529703622282012-01-16T17:55:00.000-07:002012-01-16T17:55:03.001-07:00Did He Just Say What I Think He Said?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSSRfqyHmWRLyw6tibX-ji2n48M3O-prES5oWzWFUqSgB_f510_" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSSRfqyHmWRLyw6tibX-ji2n48M3O-prES5oWzWFUqSgB_f510_" /></a></div>
A little while ago, a commercial was run on MSNBC. It only ran for a short while and hasn't run, I believe, in quite some time.<br />
<br />
There hasn't been anything to air in quite sometime that bothered me in such a way that I was finding myself getting more and more irritated at the ignorance of this commercial, and more and more disappointed in the lack of truth stated within this commercial that I stopped watching MSNBC for a good period of time.<br />
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To summarize, the was of a white correspondent of MSNBC basically 'reminding' viewers that hard work and determination is the back-bone of what makes America the greatest place in the world.<br />
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I honestly cannot effectively put into words the level of disgust I had for this commercial. It bothered me to my core.<br />
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Well, this past Saturday night, while watching a pre-recorded Tavis Smiley Forum - Remaking America: From Poverty to Prosperity, on C-Span the thoughts I have never herd acknowledged outside of my own mind were not only acknowledged by another person, and in public a forum setting, but voiced from a person I would have least expected.<br />
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To understand why I say 'least expected', you have to understand the make-up of this panel. Among the various intellectual white panelists such as Suze Orman and Barbara Ehrenreich, were also speakers such as Dr. Cornel West, Majora Carter, and Tavis Smiley who are some of our most prominent, affluent, educated, and influential black economist, activists, and professors of today. But, it was Michael Moore who put the exclamation point on something I have shouted in my head time and time again.<br />
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<strong><em>'This is a nation founded on genocide and built on the backs of slaves...We [America] tried to eliminate one entire race then used another race to build this country, quite quickly, into a world power. This country never would have had the wealth that it had, had it not had slavery'</em></strong><br />
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My surprise was not because of any dislike towards Michael Moore. I actually admire a lot of what he does and agree with him on probably 90% of his views on a lot of issues effecting America and those living in American today. My shock came from the fact that it wasn't Tavis Smiley who set the record straight on how our nation was founded, it wasn't Dr. Cornel West that spoke on who the true contributors of America, it was Michael Moore that shined the light on a history America tends to overlook and often times try to rewrite.<br />
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But, regardless of where it was said, how it was said, or who said it. Im just glad it was finally said!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-57650157777583093032011-11-25T18:58:00.002-07:002011-11-25T20:26:26.019-07:00Toy Soldiers<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My brother is very proud, very tough, very passionate in his beliefs. He never will show weakness, nor will he ever admit his weaknesses.<br />
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He witnessed first hand, my momma's pain both in love and in life, and also saw, more than I, her suffering until her death.<br />
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The very long custody battle that followed (my father vs. my step father), eventually came down to one thing. Where ever he goes I go. A recommendation that came out of many different reports submitted to the courts from various mental health specialists which basically concluded that if I was placed anywhere other than where my brother chose to go, I would run away.<br />
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My brother being thirteen by the time the custody battle was at the height of its ridiculousness, was able to make his own decision of where he wanted to live. With our father or our step father. He chose our step father. And wherever he went I followed.<br />
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I was proud of my brother, and would dare anyone to say anything bad about him. Talking about my brother was just as bad as talking about my momma.<br />
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So, to say that I have love for my brother is an understatement.<br />
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At 18, he joined the U.S. Marine Corp. He wrote me letters just about every month. Letters I still have to this day.<br />
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Of course, by this time childhood demons had taken over my life and I was living more or less as a drifter. Here one day, somewhere else the next. I was a rebel without a cause. But, I was smart. No matter where I ran away to, with who, and for how long there was always one place were anybody was guaranteed to find me, at school. So, there would be times where letters from my brother would come by way of someone else who would pass them onto me at school.<br />
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However the letters got to me I didn't care. Reading his letters, which usually began with 'Hey Big Head' and always included some dry humor whose corniness is what made it so funny, always put a smile on my face.<br />
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But, around 1990, the vibe of the letters started to change. The stories about the military life he lived on the base of Camp Pendleton soon became stories about the destruction he would witness in the Middle East. He was serving in the Gulf War.<br />
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He made it back alive, and unwounded. At least I thought. He had no physical wounds but the mental wounds would run deep. He didn't think he had a problem, and to this day he still feels he was not effected. But, being someone who has suffered mentally and emotionally the majority of my life, I saw it. The person twho had enlisted in the Marine Corp was not the same person that came out.<br />
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But, this isn't a story about my brother. This is a story about the 300,000+ military men and woman, who have risked their lives in combat, no hesitation, no questions asked, who have returned home only to fight another battle. A battle which many don't want to admit exists.<br />
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<strong>Combat PTSD</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>Lifetime occurrence (prevalence) in combat veterans 10-30%. </li>
<li>In the past year alone the number of diagnosed cases in the military jumped 50%- and that’s just diagnosed cases.</li>
<li>Studies estimate that 1 in every 5 military personnel returning from Iraq and Afghanistan has PTSD.</li>
<li>Approximately 300,000 veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars – nearly 20% of the returning forces – are likely to suffer from either PTSD or major depression, and these numbers continue to climb. </li>
<li>An additional 320,000 of the returning veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan may have experienced traumatic brain injuries during deployment.</li>
<li>20 % of the soldiers who have been deployed just within the past 6 years have PTSD.</li>
<li>Of the 85% of vets seeking treatment from the VA for PTSD, only 25% actually receive any treatment whatsoever.</li>
<li>It can take a soldier from 6 months to 2 years to get into the VA system before receiving treatment. </li>
</ul>
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<strong>Combat Veteran Suicide Rates:</strong> <br />
<ul>
<li>Veterans are more than twice as likely as non-veterans to commit suicide and the "Katz Suicide Study," dated February 21, 2008, found that suicide rates among veterans are approximately 3 times higher than in the general population.</li>
<li>A document from the VA Inspector General’s Office, dated May 10, 2007, indicates that the suicide rate among individuals in the VA’s care may be as high as 7.5 times the national average.</li>
<li>In 2008, the VA’s own data indicate that an average of four to five veterans commit suicide each day.</li>
<li>Recent statistics show 18 veterans commit suicide everyday.</li>
</ul>
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Our troops are trained to fight for us, honored to protect us, and willing to risk their lives for us. But at what cost? These man and woman give their all for America. But, I have to ask. What is America giving back to them?<br />
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Our soldiers are returning home with wounds that we can not see. Serious wounds, debilitating wounds, wounds that need our help to heal. We should not ignore what they gave up for us, so that we didn't have to.<br />
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Twenty years after my brother returned home, I can honestly say with a great amount of certainty that he is doing very well. The same can not be said for many who fought beside him. The same can not be said for many who are still fighting.<br />
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For many who are returning home and for many who have already returned, they too, wont be so lucky. They too, will return with battle scars. Lets not forget about our greatest casualties of war. There are some wounds that are invisible.<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To Support:</span><br />
<a href="http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wounded Warrior Project</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.warriorwriters.org/home.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Warrior Writers Project</span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recommended Blogs:</span><br />
<a href="http://ptsdasoldiersperspective.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PTSD: A Soldier's Perspective</span></a><br />
<a href="http://coloradoaimee.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Journey: Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, and life with Combat PTSD</span></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></span></a></div>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-20843298261873153502011-11-05T15:35:00.001-06:002011-11-05T15:40:13.960-06:00We Can't Forget The Ones We Leave Behind!<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Life has been tough for a great many of us these past few years. For some of us even longer. The wrath of the economic downfall discriminates against no race, nationality, gender, nor age group.<br />
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But as some of us start to pull ourselves up, we cannot forget about those whose struggles still continue. Those whose struggles have only just begun.<br />
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A few years ago, during a very trying time in my life, I received a card in the mail. No return address, no signature. The card simply said <strong><em>'I know that times are difficult right now, But through it all you will be okay.' </em></strong><br />
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I have never been one to talk about my trials, especially while in the midst of struggle. For that reason, I didn't have even the slightest idea of who the sender of the card was. Still to this day, it remains a mystery. But that card, which seemed to come out of nowhere, renewed in me a new strength. The will to keep going. The courage to keep fighting. And the faith that no matter how lonely I felt in my heart I was not alone. The battle may have been mine, but I had helpers in my battlefield.<br />
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLjdrzd7JH8j-sO6_iUsYFS-LzM-o9xA8t9zaaAB0Kipr7wOrA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLjdrzd7JH8j-sO6_iUsYFS-LzM-o9xA8t9zaaAB0Kipr7wOrA" /></a><br />
Life goes on. Our lives go on. But as we each take one more step closer to higher ground, let us not forget about those who are still struggling to reach that first step. Let us not forget about those who have lost their footing.<br />
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As with my anonymous card, a simple act of kindness, can renew lost hope.<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-8811154876423848952011-10-26T10:18:00.000-06:002011-10-26T10:18:07.612-06:00Where Do You Draw The Line?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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'Treat others as you would <strong>like</strong> to be treated, 'unconditionally'. Sounds good doesn't it? But lets get real. 'Unconditional' doesn't exist. There are always conditions. There are always expectations whether large or small. When we do a favor for someone, there is a small expectation that that person will, if needed, do a favor for you someday. When we donate money to a charity, there is an expectation that the money will be allocated properly within the respective charity. We elect politicians that lead us, select the universities that will teach us, look to the ministers (for those who attend religious organizations) that will guide us, all with the expectation that they will provide us the with the voice, tools, and support that we need to enrich our lives.<br />
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We do things in hopes of reaping some sort of reward. Even if the reward is an emotional one. When you help out a friend, neighbor, loved one, or even a stranger, whether you realize it or not, a small part of you likes or even needs that 'feel good' feeling you get in return.<br />
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There are even expectations when it comes to love. It may make us feel good to say to someone or to hear from someone "I love you 'unconditionally'". But, is there really love that is 'unconditional'? <br />
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When we love someone, there is an expectation, or at minimum a hope, that that person or persons will love us back. We try to accept their flaws expecting that if we accept theirs they will accept ours. When we have someones back, we expect them to have ours as well.<br />
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Love generally includes loyalty, emotional support, sometimes physical and/or financial support, respect, honesty, etc. We, or at least I, would like the above reciprocated. <br />
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But what do you do when your 'love' actions are greater than the actions of the other person? In other words what do you do when you do something for someone that you know they would never do for you? You provide emotional support on a level that you know would never and has never be returned. You give respect on a level that you don't get in return. <br />
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Where do you draw the line? Or do you draw a line to begin with? <br />
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If we are all honest with ourselves, we know that there are times when, before we offer a part of ourselves to another whether it be support, honesty, respect, etc. we ask ourselves 'would this person do this for me?'.<br />
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For those people who never have that though, I commend you. I don't think I necessarily believe you, but I commend you either way.<br />
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As for myself, there has been times when I have gone so far beyond what I get in return, that I do ask myself ' Where do I draw the line? Where does it stop? Where do I stop? Do I stop?'<br />
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I do believe that everyone needs someone. I do believe that we have to give love to receive love. It is the level of our love that, I think, can sometimes be unbalanced. That lack of balance, for me, often times causes within me resentment. An imbalance that makes me question why I do what I know would not be done for me?<br />
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I know that that thought may not be fair, or acceptable, or the popular way to think, but I'm only human! I want to feel covered with the same blanket of love that I cover others with. Of course, I understand I am not 'entitled' but I feel like it is 'deserved'.<br />
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Am I wrong? Do I expect too much? <br />
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So, I ask YOU, where do YOU draw the line?<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-19090634244238856562011-10-11T16:48:00.000-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.762-06:00The Devil's Playground<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTF9_QjxazgOzsnHUTR89ku6_o5Bj13zQ-jTKEs-cS49YP3cSxO" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" kca="true" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTF9_QjxazgOzsnHUTR89ku6_o5Bj13zQ-jTKEs-cS49YP3cSxO" /></a></div>
<strong>"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn’t exist"</strong> <br />
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My first 11 or so years of my life were spent in the church. The Sunday 'M<em><strong>orning</strong></em>' Services that always seemed to last until mid-afternoon, the Wednesday Night Bible Studies, the Saturday Choir practices, Usher rehearsal's, and Youth Groups, Vacation Bible School, Pioneer Girls, and the list goes on and on.<br />
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Shocking as it may be, however, I am not a religious person. Spiritual, yes. Religious, No. I don't know if it is the result of a life that I cannot see as being God's Will, or if it is because I just don't agree with the '<strong><em>It's THIS way or NO way</em></strong>' attitude among the various religious groups. I honestly believe God does exist and there are many paths to God.<br />
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So, even though we have established that I do believe in God, I can say with a certainty that I believe in '<strong><em>Faith</em></strong>' or that I can '<strong><em>trust</em></strong>' '<strong><em>Faith</em></strong>'.<br />
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That is both confusing and, I admit, disturbing. Confusing because I don't understand (or know how to have) '<strong><em>Faith</em></strong>'. Disturbing because a soul with no '<strong><em>Faith</em></strong>' is the Devil's Playground.<br />
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How do I believe in something, however, that I can't see, feel, etc.? How do I have confidence in that Divine Spirit is watching over me and protecting me when so much turmoil has happened (and frankly, is still happening) in my life?<br />
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I have searched most of my adult life for meaning and purpose. What is the meaning of life itself and what is my purpose in it. I have studied many many religions, many whose beliefs I agree with .Some whose beliefs I do not. All of whose core principles include having '<strong><em>Faith</em></strong>' in a higher spirit. <br />
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I will again affirm that I believe there is a God, and I believe that the Devil does exist. After all who can look around at state of the world today and NOT believe there is a Devil. The Devil definitely has made his way past our back fence and is looking in our windows waiting for the opportunity to become a permanent resident in our homes.<br />
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I try to live morally, I don't harbor any malicious intent, I feel I'm responsible, I live within the bounds of the Law, I believe that harmful actions will result in harmful consequences, I believe we are blessed and recieve many blessings even when we are undeserving of them, and I believe that we will all have to answer to the things that we have done. But I have had to experience more than my fair share of '<strong><em>Life Lessons</em></strong>'.<br />
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I have heard over and over throughout my life that 'God will never put on you more that you can bear' and 'That which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger'. Well I'm at my breaking point and am rapidly growing tired of being made '<strong><em>stronger</em></strong>'. I don't want the weight of my world on my shoulders. I don't always want to be the '<strong><em>strong</em></strong>' one. Right now I need Mercy and Grace.<br />
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I know that God and I don't really '<strong><em>communicate</em></strong>' on a regular basis and I have had a sort of back and forth battle with God ever since I was a child, but I feel like my cries are going unheard. I feel like '<strong><em>Faith</em></strong>' doesn't know who I am. And I have searched high and low trying to find my '<strong><em>answer</em></strong>'.<br />
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I am '<em><strong>stuck</strong></em>' and don't know have to break loose. I feel like I am trapped inside the Devil's Playground and no one is coming to my rescue. My '<strong><em>Saviour</em></strong>' cant seem to find me and I cant find my way out.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-5295578277421547192011-10-07T12:04:00.002-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.765-06:00The TRUTH Shall Set You Free!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzruqVaiwM0xxtkjlkYKquRXHmewTyYL5-pYuWbVRtVUybLxxh" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" kca="true" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzruqVaiwM0xxtkjlkYKquRXHmewTyYL5-pYuWbVRtVUybLxxh" /></a></div>
<strong>Part 3 - The TRUTH Shall Set You Free! The Meaning Behind 'Does Anyone Else See The Big Ass Elephant In The Room?'</strong><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Read <strong><strong><a href="http://itmaynotbeprettybutitsmine.blogspot.com/2011/10/real-people-dont-hide-behind-masks.html">Part 1 - Real People Don't Hide Behind Masks! The Meaning Behind 'It May Not Be Pretty But It's Mine!'</a>)</strong></strong></span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Read<strong> <a href="http://gingersnapsvodka.blogspot.com/2011/10/life-without-rose-colored-glasses.html">Part 2 - Life Without The Rose Colored Glasses! The Meaning Behind 'GingerSnaps And VODKA'</a>)</strong></span></em><br />
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As I indicated in the previous reads, <span style="color: red;">'P</span><span style="color: red;">art 1- Real People Don't Hide Behind Masks! The Meaning Behind 'It May Not Be Pretty But It's Mine</span><span style="color: red;">!''</span> - a blog about the 'Me' on the inside; <span style="color: red;">'Part 2</span><span style="color: red;"> - Life Without The Rose Colored Glasses! The Meaning Behind 'GingerSnaps And VODKA'' </span><span style="color: black;">- a blog about the experiences of life and the ups and downs of our day's and night's; <u><a href="http://letstalkelephants.blogspot.com/">'Does Anyone Else See The Big Ass Elephant In The Room?'</a></u> is a blog designed to shine the light to those 'issues' everyone knows exist but try to ignore because they don't want to talk about it.</span><br />
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Again, none of my blogs are ethnic, gender, or lifestyle specific. I will shine the light on issues that may may concern <strong><em>some</em></strong>, and issues that may concern us <strong><em>all</em></strong>. The importance is that a dialog be started because an issue that<strong><em> effects some</em></strong>, is an issue that <strong><em>effects all</em></strong>.<br />
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We, as a race of people, are wanting, in fact, expecting change. A progression from our historical past. But, we are all looking to the person <u>beside</u> us to make that change happen! We are all blaming the person <u>behind</u> us for the inadequacies.<br />
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We all need to take a long, hard, <u>honest</u> look at ourselves. <strong>OUR</strong> skeletons in the closet. Those issues <strong>WE</strong> are trying to avoid. The problems <strong>WE</strong> don't want to admit. And the history <strong>WE</strong> don't want to acknowledge, or remember.<br />
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We as a people must live, breathe , and exist in this world together. That is a fact that will not change. So, we may as well uncover our scars so that we may begin to heal. We will never be able to break down the cement wall we keep running into, unless we acknowledge, discuss, and work through the very issues that erected the cement wall in the first place.<br />
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We will never be able to move forward, if we continue to be chained to our past!<br />
We can not expect others to help us, if we continue to ignore the cries for help of others!<br />
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We need to begin to heal our families.<br />
We need to begin to heal our communities.<br />
We need to begin to heal ourselves.<br />
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Stop ignoring the big ass elephant in the room and start talking to one another.<br />
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Read <strong><strong><a href="http://itmaynotbeprettybutitsmine.blogspot.com/2011/10/real-people-dont-hide-behind-masks.html">Part 1 - Real People Don't Hide Behind Masks! The Meaning Behind 'It May Not Be Pretty But It's Mine!'</a></strong></strong><br />
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Read<strong> <a href="http://gingersnapsvodka.blogspot.com/2011/10/life-without-rose-colored-glasses.html">Part 2 - Life Without The Rose Colored Glasses! The Meaning Behind 'GingerSnaps And VODKA'</a></strong><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-14136284061537105912011-10-05T18:19:00.001-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.767-06:00Beautiful Depression<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The 'Silent Stalker', the 'Noonday Demon', the 'Black Cloud', what ever you want to call it...<strong>'IT</strong>' can paralyze your world and bring your soul to it's knees.<br />
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You can feel fine one moment, and falling into a dark abyss the next.<br />
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One minute your living in a world of bliss, and the next your dying in a realm of misery.<br />
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'<strong>IT</strong>' appears out of nowhere, latches onto every part of your being, and consumes your mind, body, and spirit. You don't see color anymore rather only shades of grey.<br />
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If '<strong>IT</strong>' is as immersed in <u><em>your</em></u> life as '<strong>IT</strong>' is in mine, you aren't able to hide from '<strong>IT</strong>', '<strong>IT</strong>' finds you no matter where you are.<br />
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If '<strong>IT</strong>' is as transfixed with <em><u>you</u></em> as <strong>'IT</strong>' seems to be with me, <strong>'IT</strong>' will segregate you from any and everyone you ever even thought you cared about.<br />
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You are fooled into believing that '<strong>IT</strong>'s' existence has died, only to witness '<strong>IT</strong>'s' resurrection just as the wounds once last left behind begin to heal.<br />
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'<strong>IT</strong>' becomes so much a part of you that some, like me, have tried to cut '<strong>IT</strong>' out with a blade. Slicing over and over and over again brainwashed into thinking that harming yourself will cripple the nemisis. In the end each cut of the knife only makes '<strong>IT</strong>' stronger.<br />
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'<strong>IT</strong>' can become so much a part of you, that '<strong>IT</strong>' can transmit to your children, and your children's children.<br />
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You don't know how to explain '<strong>IT</strong>' so you don't tell anyone about '<strong>IT</strong>'. You don't know how you got '<strong>IT</strong>' so you don't know how to get rid of '<strong>IT</strong>'.<br />
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<a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWR4oknmWSv9TV8TgDOQplXji8AKLOkUlfgOua8idKMz7S3So9DA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" kca="true" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWR4oknmWSv9TV8TgDOQplXji8AKLOkUlfgOua8idKMz7S3So9DA" /></a>So instead you embrace '<strong>IT</strong>'. Accepting the ever increasing grip '<strong>IT</strong>' has on you. Day after Day. Month after Month. Year after Year. Treasuring the moments '<strong>IT</strong>' loosens it's grasp, making the most of the times '<strong>IT</strong>' allows you to breathe.</div>
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<strong><em>You don't have to understand depression for your life to be effected by it. Depression is an unseen enemy that could be walking hand in hand with someone you know. </em></strong></div>
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<strong><em>Depression may be the intruder that has taken over your own life!</em></strong></div>
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<em><u>(This is a post I felt necesarry to post on all of my Blogs)</u></em></div>
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The following websites provide valuable resources, support and materials for a variety of mental illnesses.</div>
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<a href="http://www.dbsalliance.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance – DBSA</span></a><br />
Support, educational materials, brochures, resources for family members, and much more.<br />
<a href="http://www.walkers.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">Walkers In Darkness</span></a><br />
Provides information and support for anyone dealing with mental illness.<br />
<a href="http://www.counselor.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">Counselor</span></a><br />
Largest informational database containing information on mental health news and resources.<br />
<a href="http://www.nami.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI</span></a><br />
Grassroots organization dedicated to improving the lives of persons living with serious mental illness.<br />
<a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">National Institute of Mental Health – NIMH</span></a><br />
Largest scientific organization in the world dedicated to research focused on the understanding, treatment, and prevention of mental disorders and the promotion of mental health. Free brochures and more.<br />
<a href="http://www.mhselfhelp.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">National Mental Health Consumers’ Self-Help Clearinghouse</span></a><br />
Offers news and alerts, training curricula, resources, publications, technical assistance and a consumer driver services directory<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-6142537915624967012011-09-24T13:17:00.005-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.769-06:00FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK--On the concept of Change<span style="color: black; font-family: tinos; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><marquee bgcolor="#ffffff" scrollamount="3">FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK! FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK!</marquee></span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">On the concept of Change</span></strong><br />
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Change is a concept that refers to making or becoming different than what came before. Change is an <em>activity</em> that requires deliberate steps toward transformation. We have to be conscious about changes that lead to a different way of being.<br />
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I’d been allowing bits and pieces of myself to be swept away. I wanted to trek through the wasteland that was my life toward more fertile ground. I wanted to take charge of my life, to be accountable to myself and responsible toward others. I wanted to change <em>everything,</em> as if change is an all or nothing event.<br />
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Once I thought that the only way to change my life was to cease living it. Fortunately, I had conversations with my counselor about change. These discussions started with the observation of myself as a victim. I learned that I perceived myself as a victim and I was led into circumstances that continued the victim role. Why was that? In my case, especially as it pertained to my relationships with men, I’d been around abusive men my whole life. The inner resources to defend my self were eroded by the myth that men are a force to fear. I learned that men and women are equal in the emotional and spiritual levels. I also had to learn that I deserved relationships that made me feel good, that were based on healthy common interests, and that true partners bring out the best in us. Change meant transforming from a vulnerable target to an empowered woman.<br />
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This knowledge helped me to disengage from abusive relationships. But this change does not occur in a linear fashion. The activity that accompanies change happens in fits and starts, by trial and error, with failure and success. What remains constant is the <em>determination</em> to make a change, as well as the <em>discipline</em> to develop the strength and skills required to be different than before.<br />
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My counselor suggested that I change my way of living by changing my way of thinking. “You can replace negative self-talk with optimistic thoughts. It is possible to change a negative perspective on life into a positive life force if you keep a sense of proportion.” Survivors of trauma are often drawn into drama by reacting without thinking. I learned that not every minor inconvenience leads to a major catastrophe. Rather, the whole of life is more about how I shaped it, day by day, by making good decisions and better choices.<br />
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My counselor encouraged change but I was paralyzed with ambivalence. My <em>desire</em> to change was in conflict with the fear of change, and I resisted change even as I risked change. If only change could occur overnight, by osmosis, or at least if I could leave well enough alone. I pleaded with the universe to cooperate:<br />
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<em>Now travel, Time, no more delays, Propel me now to future days.</em><br />
<em>To days of good, new days unfold. Now faster, Time, before I am old.</em><br />
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I asked my counselor, “Why do I continually make mistakes?” Her answer was, “Your experiences were not mere mistakes, but life lessons. Human experiences pertain not just to suffering but also to personal development and soul growth.” That helped me to ease up on myself for perceived mistakes.<br />
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For example, I couldn’t count on myself. I could not make up my mind or I would change my mind, or anyone could change it for me. I changed plans, habitually procrastinated, and invented excuses: a headache, a stomachache, it was too early or it was too far, or the weather was too terrible for whatever it was that I was avoiding. It was all too much because I’d been through too much.<br />
My counselor taught me the concrete steps to making a change:<br />
<ul sizcache="40" sizset="5">
<li>Be aware of the behavior needing change </li>
<li>Examine the reasons for developing the behavior in the first place </li>
<li>Have compassion for the choices made under the circumstances </li>
<li>Find new and healthy ways to meet the needs </li>
<li>Get support! Ask for help! </li>
<li>Set goals in small timeframes: one day, one week, one month </li>
<li>Break down the larger goals into smaller ones </li>
<li>Give yourself rewards along the way. </li>
</ul>
Try not to minimize triumphs but appreciate the steps toward self-improvement.<br />
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“What if I fail?” I asked my counselor. I realized that I failed to try anything that I could not do perfectly and all I could do perfectly was clean house. I thought about trying other things but never got around to it. I made a mental note: <em>“To think and think and think about a thing and never to accomplish it at all.”</em><br />
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She responded by saying, “Use failures as a learning experience and try again. It’s a waste of time to wait to do everything perfectly. In order to grow, it’s necessary to attempt new skills. Let go of the limiting controls of perfectionism! To make mistakes is to be human and everyone makes mistakes.”<br />
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I began to change by using <em>discipline</em> to keep commitments, finish projects, and manage emotions. While I was incorporating healthy changes into my life, I was in transition, no longer the person I was and not the person I was yet to be. I had to call upon my <em>courage</em> reserves to navigate the hurdles and overcome an obstacle course of adverse circumstances. It would take courage to clear the past to find clarity for the future. Meanwhile, I kept the <em>commitment</em> to changing my life from constant chaos to inner peace.<br />
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You can’t change <em>everything</em> at once, and some changes are noticeable only in retrospect. I can look back and <em>know</em>, <em>feel</em>, and <em>believe</em> how much I have changed since embarking on a healing journey. Have <em>confidence</em> in your ability to change! Confidence is based on previous accomplishments; build confidence by acknowledging the cumulative ways you have changed.<br />
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The power to change is already within you, ready to be discovered. Find new methods to deal with old routines. It is up to you to make the conscious choices that bring a better future.<br />
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Post completed by Lynn C. Tolson, author of <a href="http://beyondthetears.blogspot.com/" title="TEARSblog"><span style="color: #3ca097;">Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story</span></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-43778747075217497092011-09-18T14:49:00.001-06:002011-10-26T07:49:24.830-06:00If I Let Him Lead, HE WILL (Part of the Converting Me - Road to Redemption series)<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">I am a very quiet person. I am not outwardly affectionate, emotionally 'available', or easily approachable. A conversation with my husband today made me realize just how true that is. </span><br />
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<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZb-y21wARSgqFqvr_b4PMGiAyzplEKWk-qsnarsRG8U_rKryNpw" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" rba="true" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZb-y21wARSgqFqvr_b4PMGiAyzplEKWk-qsnarsRG8U_rKryNpw" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times;">We don't have the best communication between us. Neither of us seems to be able to get what we are really feeling across to the other person. But today I actually heard him. I didn't just hear him talking, I actually <strong><em>heard</em></strong> him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">I am not making him feel like I love him. Like I want to be here. Like I want him. I think I do, but he is not feeling that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">The only way I know how to show love is by being here. I figure if I'm still here, he should know I love him. That's not okay. Instead of feeling like being here is my sacrifice that should prove my love, I need to focus on showing him that despite the trials we go through, that being here, being in his life, him being in mine, is a blessing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">I always feel like I am taking on more than my husband. But if i ask myself why, the truth is I don't let him take take on more. I don't let him take on anything because I feel like I am showing that I cant take on everything. Like it is a sign of weakness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">Instead what I am really doing is not letting a man be a man. I'm not allowing my husband to head the household. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">Now, I am not saying that I believe in the idea that a wife should be seen and not heard, and the husband calls all the shots. That is SO far from what I believe. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">But, I do believe a man should be treated as a MAN. The man should play a major role in the house. The man should be allowed to lead his family and head his household. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times;">I need to love him enough to let him LEAD me, not always have to follow MY lead</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-13667783263513806882011-09-08T21:30:00.001-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.773-06:00The TABOO Topic<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GZ6pYvRRqLs/TmlAZdosmYI/AAAAAAAAASI/Z7hSncaVTjg/s1600/imagesCAID1AE2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GZ6pYvRRqLs/TmlAZdosmYI/AAAAAAAAASI/Z7hSncaVTjg/s200/imagesCAID1AE2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: red;"><em><strong>"What happens in this house, STAYS in this house."</strong></em></span> </div>
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">Before I begin I know that this blog entry, its content, and the views express, may be met with some controversy.Everyone may not agree with this blogs content, but the black community in its entirty is affected. My goal here is to expose the issue in an effort to create a diolog on the issue. We can no longer ignore the very issues that are the most damaging . LETS TALK ABOUT IT</span></em>!</div>
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We, as black people, for some reason believe that if we don't talk about what goes on in a lot of our homes, then it doesn't exist. If we don't admit these things happen, happened, or are still happening, then we don't have to admit that we do these things or these things are being done to us.</div>
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Below are some of the cultural beliefs within the black community that may contribute to the 'secrecy' within the black household<span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #614742;"><span style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></span><br />
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<li class="style36"><em>Children are expendable.</em> Their needs come last. They are told,“This is grown folks business.” “Children should be seen and not heard.”</li>
<li class="style36"><em>There’s no time or place for problems.</em> If children aren’t the priority, they quickly learn, neither are their worries and fears. Many black families get caught up in the daily grind of working to keep a roof over their families head and food on the table. So much so, that it’s easy to become disconnected from expressing problems or feelings. Whether implied or verbalized, the parent conveys that “I have so much going on myself that I just can’t handle any more problems.”</li>
<li class="style36"><em>Ain’t nobody’s business!</em> For years, other people controlled and pried in our lives: Slave masters, welfare workers, social workers, prosecutors, judges, police, parole officers, doctors and employers. Experience has taught blacks not to trust the police or the courts to deliver justice. Thus, we avoid them at all cost.</li>
<li class="style36"><em>Let’s not talk about sex.</em> Some survivors are told that they were being prepared for relationships with men. Some think: “my mom didn’t talk about it so neither do we.”</li>
<li class="style36"><em>Don’t ask, don’t tell. Our home is off-limits.</em> With social service agencies prying into our homes, police, etc., many of us consider our homes off-limits. What goes on in the home, stays in the home. Challenging a parent’s authority over their children.</li>
<li class="style36"><em>Our bodies our not our own.</em> “Go ahead & give your uncle Junebug a kiss,” is an example of the expectations placed on a child. The child is expected not to go against the parent’s authority or risk getting a beating for “disrespecting” an adult he/she may not be comfortable with. Child gets the message that an adult’s needs are more important than a child’s needs.</li>
<li class="style36"><em>Blacks are more likely to house extended family in the home</em>, like cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc., thus, in some cases, exposing the child to a potential predator.</li>
<li class="style36"><em>African-Americans are afraid of airing what is considered by some as “dirty laundry” in public.</em> This makes it easier to blame the victim or not believe the victim at all, in an attempt to protect the reputation of the race or suspected perpetrator. (examples: Mike Tyson and Clarence Thomas cases). </li>
<li class="style36"><em>Some believe that black males cannot be sexually abused</em> or that women cannot be perpetrators, thus making it hard for black males to come forward about being sexually abused. Some black male victims of sexual abuse are afraid of being called gay if they reveal they were sexually abused by a man.</li>
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Well I think we need to expose the black community's <em>'dirty little secrets'</em>! Admit that we are not immune to these <em>'horrible</em>' situations or issues.</div>
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It seems to be the inside joke <em>(that is not quite so funny)</em> that most black family's have that one 'uncle' that 'just wasn't quite right'. That 'uncle' you never should be alone with or never allowed your kids to be alone with because he had a few <em>'issues'</em>.</div>
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The truth is most reports of abuse by a black victim report the abuser to be their uncle as opposed to their father</div>
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In fact there are a number of alarming statistics: </div>
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<ol>
<li><em>1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men report they were sexually abused as children.Of that statistic, 3.3 million African-American women have been sexually abused and 1.9 million African-American men have been sexually abused.</em></li>
<li><em>Family members and acquaintances account for 93% of predators.</em></li>
<li><em>66% of pregnant teens report a history of abuse.</em></li>
<li><em>66% of all prostitutes were abused as children by a father or father figure.</em></li>
<li><em>Incestuous abuse of blacks was more than three times more likely to be “very severe” (involving oral, anal or vaginal intercourse) compared with that of Whites…and involve force or physical violence and verbal threats.</em></li>
<li><em>Men who have been abused are more commonly seen in the criminal justice system than in clinical mental health settings.</em></li>
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Now, as disturbing as this may sound, some people's belief behind this behavior is even more disturbing. <em>Studies have shown that i<span lang="">internal and external oppression prevents African American women from addressing the multiple issues of violence as manifested through rape, incest, and domestic violence.</span></em><br />
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It has also been stated that <em>child abuse in blacks is viewed as reactive in nature-reactive to societal abuse</em>...Additionally, some might say, <em>the history of victimization and sexual abuse dating back to their initial arrival in this country as slaves.</em><br />
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Domestic abuse is a <strong>growing problem</strong> in the black community. According to a 2002 report by the National Center for Children in Poverty, Domestic Violence and Welfare show that between 3.3 million and 10 million children witness domestic violence annually.<br />
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In 2002 African Voices Against Violence at Tufts University reported that the number 1 killer of African American women ages 15 to 34 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner.<br />
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Domestic abuse has long lasting effects among not only black women but all women and children alike.<br />
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Black women who are battered have more physical ailments, mental health issues, are less likely to practice safe sex, and are more likely to abuse substances during pregnancy than black women without a history of abuse.<br />
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Battered women are at greater risk for attempting suicide particularly if they were physically abused<br />
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as a child, for being depressed and to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.</div>
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<span lang="">Black women experience intimate partner violence at rates 35% higher than their White counterparts and 2.5 times the rate of men and other races</span></div>
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<span lang="">Alcohol problems (drinking, binge drinking, dependency) are more frequently related to intimate partner violence for African Americans than for whites or Hispanics</span></div>
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<span lang=""><span lang=""><span lang="">We also need to address the existence of mental illness in the black community.</span></span></span></div>
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<span lang=""><span lang="">Whether it is the lack of community resources, our ever present 'struggle' as black people just to survive, or the 'stigma' among blacks surrounding mental instability, we have a <span lang="">tendency react to our environment by 'coping' and 'getting through' our struggle by any means necessary.</span></span></span></div>
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<span lang=""><span lang=""><span lang="">However, mental illness represents one of the greatest and under-treated issues facing black people in America. Unfortunately, <span lang="">any hint of mental instability within the African American community carries with it shame and disgrace. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="">Again, some might say the past has had a damning effect on our future: <span lang=""><em>African-Americans, on the issue of mental illness, has its origins deep in the annals of slave history in America for example, one scientific report went so far as to deliberately falsify the Black insanity rates from the 1840 U.S. census to show that the further North blacks lived, the higher their rates of lunacy. In short, strong evidence that freedom drove blacks crazy.</em></span></span></div>
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<span lang="">Whether you believe that we are historically 'pre-disposed' to these types of behaviors (I personally do NOT) we need to acknowledge that things are going on behind closed doors. This is something that we can no longer 'ignore'. We can no longer 'overlook' the abuse of children. We can no longer keep hiding behind our need to not <em>'air our dirty laundry'.</em></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DCAKqqLl1Rc/TmmFn2PRWLI/AAAAAAAAASM/4w7dTIr8Rko/s1600/imagesCA8AZAIN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DCAKqqLl1Rc/TmmFn2PRWLI/AAAAAAAAASM/4w7dTIr8Rko/s1600/imagesCA8AZAIN.jpg" /></a><span lang=""></span><span lang=""></span><br />
<span lang="">An alarming amount of black children express that they don't 'feel safe' in their own own. A staggering number of black woman report violence of some degree taking place in the home on a regular basis. </span></div>
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<span lang="">We need to help the abused, and stop excusing the abusers. Otherwise, it will only get worse. Suffering in silence is NO WAY TO LIVE!</span> </div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a></div>
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<em><span style="color: #20124d;">Resources:</span></em></div>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">ChildHelp USA/National Child Abuse Hotline: a national organization that provides resources and support to abused children. </span></em><a href="http://www.childhelpusa.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.childhelpusa.org</span></em></a></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">Darkness to Light: a national nonprofit to designed to create public awareness and prevention of child sexual abuse. </span></em><a href="http://www.darkness2light.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.darkness2light.org</span></em></a><em><span style="color: #20124d;"> </span></em></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">Incest Survivors Anonymous (ISA): national 12-step support group for male<br /> and female incest survivors. </span></em><a href="http://www.lafn.org/medical%20/isa/home.html" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">http://www.lafn.org/medical /isa/home.html</span></em></a></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">Men Can Stop Rape: an organization to prevent rape and violence against women. </span></em><a href="http://www.mencanstoprape.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.mencanstoprape.org</span></em></a></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">National Center for Victims of Crime: a national organization that provides resources and help for victims of crime. </span></em><a href="http://www.ncvc.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.ncvc.org</span></em></a></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network: one of the country’s largest networks for sexual abuse survivors; has 24-hour hotline (800-656-4673), has list of local rape crisis centers. </span></em><a href="http://www.rainn.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.rainn.org</span></em></a></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">Survivors of Incest Anonymous: organization for male and female sexual abuse survivors. This organization may also include perpetrators. </span></em><a href="http://www.siawso.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.siawso.org</span></em></a></li>
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<li class="style38"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">Voices in Action: international organization for sexual abuse survivors; provides local referrals for help. </span></em><a href="http://www.voices-action.org/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">www.voices-action.org</span></em></a> </li>
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<em><span style="color: #20124d;">***For a comprehensive list of available resources and support, go to:</span></em><a href="http://www.dmoz.org/Society/Support %20Groups/Sexual_Abuse/Survivors/" target="_blank"><em><span style="color: #20124d;">http://www.dmoz.org/Society/Support Groups/Sexual_Abuse/Survivors/</span></em></a></div>
Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-72187814473543164062011-09-07T09:21:00.002-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.775-06:00Life Is Not A Movie; So Why All The Drama?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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People are constantly saying how much they don't like drama. How much they wish their lives were calm, cool, and collected. Yet, those same people seem to always have some sort of drama in going on in, or around them and their life.<br />
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Now don't get it twisted! Drama and stress are often two different things but both can cause one or the other. Work can be stressful, kids can be stressful, school can be stressful. Hell LIFE can be stressful. But all these stressful situations don't have to turn into a Soap Opera!<br />
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So to assist those who may not know how to live DRAMA free, I have created the following:<br />
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<strong>10 RULES TO KEEPING BULLSHIT OUT OF YOUR LIFE!</strong></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Mind Your Own Business</u> - if it doesn’t involve *you or effect *you <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>directly. STAY OUT OF IT! <span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>*’you’ may also include your loved ones</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> <u> </u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>It Is Not Your Secret If You Tell</u> – Assume that anything you say will be repeated 5 times over and often times incorrectly. If you want something to remain a secret…KEEP IT A SECRET!</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Diarrhea Does Not Smell Good</u> – Don’t waste your time gossiping. Stop runnin' your mouth!</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Don’t Ask Don’t Tell</u> – If they don’t ask for your advice, don’t give it. Now, there is some discretion with this one. If it is a danger to themselves or others,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>illegal, or otherwise so assenine that the effects may be catastrophic, keep your opinion to yourself. 'If they like it, You love it'</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> <u> </u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>If You Build It They Will Come</u> – If you set up situations or put yourself in situations where drama my build, DRAMA will come.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> <u> </u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Let Sleeping Dogs Lay</u> – Nip drama in the bud ON SIGHT! Don’t keep it going, don’t let it fester.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> <u> </u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Take Out The Trash</u> – Look around you. Often time’s drama doesn’t start with you, but rather those who you have in your circle. Those you let into your life should enhance your life. Be a positive energy in your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get rid of those who have no place in your space!</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>MAN UP! (or woman up)</u> – If you find yourself caught up in drama, acknowledge your role in it, settle it, and MOVE ON. Don’t fuel drama then sit back like a Cheshire Cat.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> <u> </u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>The Truth Shall Set You Free</u> – I know that at some point in your life you were told that it takes more energy to lie, than tell the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People tend to tell stories more than once. It's human nature. THE STORY SHOULDN’T BE DIFFERENT EVERY TIME YOU TELL IT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether you tell a story once or a thousand times…if you’re telling the truth, then the truth should never change.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> <u> </u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Don’t Be A Whistle Blower</u> - Just like with number 4 <strong>USE YOUR DISCRETION</strong>. But if discretion is not an issue in the situation, then it is not your job, nor your responsibility to keep everyone around you ‘updated’ on everyone else’s business. If it is not your business, it’s not yours to tell.</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--EYKaOVMyE4/TmeLUomXtVI/AAAAAAAAASE/UILceYuNsv4/s1600/imagesCAZVWGOP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--EYKaOVMyE4/TmeLUomXtVI/AAAAAAAAASE/UILceYuNsv4/s1600/imagesCAZVWGOP.jpg" /></a><br />
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Life is stressful enough without all of that added bullshit. If you need excitement in your life, if you need to be involved in <em>SOMETHING</em> get a hobbie or join a group!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border-bottom-width: 0px !important; border-left-width: 0px !important; border-right-width: 0px !important; border-top-width: 0px !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-32905689386618811342011-09-03T13:55:00.002-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.777-06:00Black Folks Ain't Mad Enough Yet!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Where is all the unity among black people? What happen to the 'Village' we are supposed to have raising our children? When did we lose the love for Black Love?</span><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EGOT9w95XpY/TmJ6qZHQgFI/AAAAAAAAAPw/5Ik5dRpoybA/s1600/imagesCAQP63IW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EGOT9w95XpY/TmJ6qZHQgFI/AAAAAAAAAPw/5Ik5dRpoybA/s1600/imagesCAQP63IW.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The answer is quite apparent to me that black folks are just not mad<em><strong> enough</strong></em> yet. We’re not 'Hungry' <em><strong>enough</strong></em> yet to put the 'Unity' back in the black Community. We haven’t suffered <em><strong>enough</strong></em> yet, to change the way we do things. We don’t have <strong><em>enough</em></strong> black men in prison yet, to care about the future of our black boys. We don’t have<strong><em> enough</em></strong> black women with HIV yet, to teach our black girls that sex does not equal love. <strong><em>Enough </em></strong>of us haven’t died over the color of our skin, to stop us from killing over the color of a shirt. We don’t have <strong><em>enough</em></strong> young black men and women on TV degrading themselves yet, to realize that those watching us are not laughing WITH us, but laughing AT us. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We no longer want to get <u>out</u> of the ghetto, we would rather <u>glorify</u> the ghetto. The books that we once fought with our lives to be able to have we are taking out of the hands of our children and replacing them with guns. We are still wallowing in the anger over an unfulfilled promise of reparations, when a lot of the black youth today, can’t even spell 'Reparations'! <o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But apparently we are okay with this. This doesn’t bother us one bit. We obviously don’t deserve better. Because it would seem to me, that if we were NOT okay with this we would a little mad. And if we ARE mad, then we obviously aren’t mad <strong><em>enough! </em></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We are not mad <strong><em>enough</em></strong> to start treating our community with the respect it deserves. We are not mad <strong><em>enough</em></strong> to stop destroying our own children with drugs that others once used to try to destroy us.We are not mad <strong><em>enough</em></strong> seek out our elders for wisdom rather than just for money.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> We need to ask ourselves if we like what we see? If we like where the black community is headed? If the future of black America is left in the hands of the young kids that as they are NOW....Then we truly never expected much to begin with.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-31766127645337269532011-08-27T10:12:00.000-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.778-06:00You Want Your Privacy? Didn't I Just See You On Facebook Tellin All Your Business?<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Yn5nPePWFyI/TlgQUVTfjjI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/GSN_bEFbt88/s1600/imagesCA5R2D1W.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Yn5nPePWFyI/TlgQUVTfjjI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/GSN_bEFbt88/s1600/imagesCA5R2D1W.jpg" /></a></div>I'm not big on social media. I'm not on Black Planet, I don't have any YouTube videos, My Facebook page is less than 2 years old. And I have no clue what a Twitter is. I don't think that Smart Phones are all that 'Smart', and I really don't get why everyone feels the need to always 'Check-In'.<br />
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But what I do think is so ironic to the point of being absurd are the people who, probably right now, are tweeting, posting, texting etc. to THE WORLD about how they are owed their right to privacy after they either get fired for some stupid comment they posted on Facebook (that they never should have in the first place), after some scandalous pictures of them get seen by everyone in their church (do I really have to comment on the lack of judgement here? How was they ever in the position to have the picture taken in the first place), or after they have been arrested for doing some stupid crap they chose to video tape and post on YouTube.<br />
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What! Are you serious? We are not talking about a lack of privacy, we are talking about a total lack of just plain<strong><em> Common Sense</em></strong>!!<br />
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When a job application is accompanied by a consent to Social Media Background Check, When most, if not all by now, of the major police departments in the country have their own Facebook page, When Presidential 'Town Hall' meetings are held via social media, why is it so difficult to comprehend that YOU are responsible for everything you put out there in cyberspace. And rightfully so. I believe everyone should be held accountable for their own stupidity.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6Buyh7Jy8Q/TlgQZN5lSzI/AAAAAAAAAMU/eZdts6h_68o/s1600/imagesCAOB33T9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6Buyh7Jy8Q/TlgQZN5lSzI/AAAAAAAAAMU/eZdts6h_68o/s200/imagesCAOB33T9.jpg" width="200" /></a>Not only has social media been the cause of the death of more than one child (because the mothers were too busy 'posting' on Facebook rather than watch their children), but there are even some high school teachers teaching classes via Twitter.<br />
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Are people really that ignorant enough to believe that Big Brother is not watching EVERY post, blog, tweet, re-tweet (what ever the hell that is), check-in, status update, YouTube video, etc.?<br />
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Or do people REALLY think that delete actually DELETES anything!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-15603860904455538842011-08-26T10:09:00.001-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.780-06:00Why Don't You Ever Talk To Me?Usually, in many relationships of people I know, women are constantly asking their husbands or partners <strong><em>'Why don't you ever talk to me?'</em></strong>. Well, in my marriage, that question is usually asked OF ME. <br />
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Admittedly, I don't communicate, I don't know how. At least not the communication my husband wants. I really don't feel comfortable talking emotionally, and I am very private. Unfortunately, I am private even when it comes to my husband.<br />
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Well today is my turning point. After an argument which reached an all time high yesterday, I realized that my lack of communication is really an issue. I honestly, never assumed that it would be an issue because, after all, how many women have a partner who WANTS to 'talk'. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zh7BznxZtRw/TlfBsvmdDMI/AAAAAAAAAK0/iEqy4XaB3RY/s1600/l_6bba08bbd22949e9a0d9a8163bebda84+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zh7BznxZtRw/TlfBsvmdDMI/AAAAAAAAAK0/iEqy4XaB3RY/s200/l_6bba08bbd22949e9a0d9a8163bebda84+%25282%2529.jpg" width="200" /></a>So, I'm really starting from square one with this. In an effort to do as I promised myself with my new 'blogging' venture... my journey to learn how to communicate with my husband will be a shared journey. <br />
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Feedback is not only wanted, its needed! Advice is not only suggested, its needed! <br />
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Follow my journey in <a href="http://letstalkelephants.blogspot.com/p/road-to-redemption.html">Road to Redemption</a>.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-15228948589275817802011-08-22T17:24:00.001-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.782-06:008 Crucial Things To Do After You or Someone You Know Has Been Raped<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QDkGBWhywas/TlLkMQLFvdI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/sLpA_OBFNhM/s1600/13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QDkGBWhywas/TlLkMQLFvdI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/sLpA_OBFNhM/s1600/13.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is an ugly subject with even uglier statistics</span></strong></div><br />
<ul><li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">44% of victims are under age 18</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">80% are under age 30</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">60% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15 of 16 rapists <strong>will never spend a day in jail</strong></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Approximately 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance</span></li>
</ul><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>1 out of every 6 American women</strong> has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>17.7 million American women</strong> have been victims of attempted or completed rape.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While about 80% of all victims are white, </span><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">minorities are somewhat more likely to be attacked.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="background-color: blue; color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lifetime rate of rape /attempted rape for women by race:</span></strong></div><ul><li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All women: 17.6%</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">White women: 17.7%</span></li>
<li><strong><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Black women: 18.8%</span></u></strong></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Asian Pacific Islander women: 6.8%</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">American Indian/Alaskan women: 34.1%</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mixed race women: 24.4%</span></li>
</ul> As a rape survivor and sexual molestation survivor, I encourage everybody, women and men, to read the below information courtesy of <a href="http://cosmopolitan.com/">Cosmopolitan.com</a>. Many, if not everybody, either knows someone who was a victim (whether you know it or not) or was a victim themselves of some form of sexual assault. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2D9aNhASwl4/TlLkUXRCmkI/AAAAAAAAAJU/LvX0Xxl9pUE/s1600/14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2D9aNhASwl4/TlLkUXRCmkI/AAAAAAAAAJU/LvX0Xxl9pUE/s1600/14.jpg" /></a></div><a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-crucial-things-to-do-after-you-or-someone-you-know-has-been-raped-2530701/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><strong>8 Crucial Things To Do After You or Someone You Know Has Been Raped</strong></em></span></a><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No one expects to be in the position of dealing with the aftermath of an attack, so here’s what you need to know.<br />
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-Find a safe location away from the perpetrator. Ask a close friend to be with you for support.<br />
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-If you are still in the location where you were raped (for example, if it happened in your apartment or dorm room), don’t clean, straighten up, or remove anything.<br />
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-Report the crime to law enforcement, campus police, or a trusted school administrator.<br />
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-Don’t take a shower, wash your hands, brush your teeth, eat, or smoke.<br />
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-Preserve all evidence of the attack—don’t wash your clothing or sheets, etc.<br />
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-Write down all the details you can recall about the attack and the perpetrator.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-Even if you don’t feel up to it, go to the hospital. Once there, tell the doctor or nurse what happened and ask for STD tests and the morning after pill (if you’re not on birth control). Request a rape kit so that you’ll have biological proof of the attack. (Rape kits must be administered within 72 hours of the assault, and the sooner you get one done the better.) If you think you might have been drugged, ask for a urine sample to preserve evidence. To find a local hospital or healthcare facility that is equipped to collect forensic material, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE.<br />
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-If your school hasn’t protected your rights after a rape, contact Security on Campus at </span><a href="http://securityoncampus.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><strong><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">securityoncampus.org</span></strong></a><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> or the Victim Rights Law Center, a national organization that provides free legal services to sexual assault victims, at (617) 399-6720.<br />
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For free, completely confidential support and advice about anything, you can contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline 24/7 by calling 800.656.HOPE or IM-ing anonymously with a staffer from RAINN (The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) at </span><a href="https://ohl.rainn.org/online/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><strong><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">online.rainn.org</span></strong></a><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-32980454512184417852011-08-21T17:00:00.004-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.783-06:00Self Love<a href="http://maneatersblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/I-love-me.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-761" height="180" src="http://maneatersblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/I-love-me-300x180.gif" title="I-love-me" width="300" /></a><a href="http://maneatersblog.com/2011/08/09/maneaterself-love/">Maneater=Self Love</a><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> (courtesy of ManeatersBlog.com)</span><br />
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We’ve all been hurt, discouraged, let down by one or more people in lives. It’s no coincidence that the ones we love the most hurt us, we trust them, give them access to our hearts, leaving us vulnerable. This is unavoidable-especially in romantic relationships. That is why it is so important to learn to truly love yourself, not as a defense against getting hurt, because no matter how much you love yourself you can still be hurt by others, but when you truly love yourself you learn and grow from those let downs.<br />
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The term Man-Eater means a lot of different things to many, but for me it means self-love. Yes in a relationship sense, I am saying down with boys and up with girls-but that is only because my audience is mostly women. And my passion is for women who don’t know how to first love themselves and who put their love interest before themselves. I write for the women who have been hurt, and have never recovered. The women who don’t realize that there is a difference between loving someone in a healthy way and giving too much of yourself to someone who doesn’t value you.<br />
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We all know that we are not perfect, we are flawed. Is this just another message about loving your flaws? Well, maybe but I’m willing to go as far to say that those “flaws” are relative and what someone views as a flaw in you, another may see as your great asset. Just because one man doesn’t like something about you doesn’t mean you should work to change it, you should only work to change the things about yourself that YOU don’t like or think you want to improve.<br />
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I am absolutely in love with me, and have no problem attracting men, moving on from bad relationships, or being exactly who I am no matter who doesn’t like it. But I wasn’t always this way, I once was just like the women I strive to reach on a daily basis. I didn’t know the power I held within. I didn’t realize I had the power to create my life, and choose how I wanted to be treated. YOU have the power. We as females have to learn how to take it back, or perhaps you never lost it and in that case learn to hold on to it.<br />
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I am a Man-Eater. I love Me . Girl Power.<br />
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Xo Maneater<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197480125239890380.post-51812689343794474862011-08-18T11:29:00.002-06:002011-10-26T07:50:00.785-06:00Allow me to introduce myself...My name is Valerie Whitlock - Jenkins - Wheeler - Moore<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2AtKR0UPwBQ/Tk70UWdD11I/AAAAAAAAAEs/sJDcN99HPx0/s1600/21845_107873679222801_100000005072014_221216_5332658_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="98" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2AtKR0UPwBQ/Tk70UWdD11I/AAAAAAAAAEs/sJDcN99HPx0/s200/21845_107873679222801_100000005072014_221216_5332658_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I'm sure you can tell by the number of last names that I have been married a few times. 3 to be exact. (I'm currently on my third). Now, I know the judgemental people are probably wondering what is wrong with me? <br />
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I'm 30 something, with 7 kids (4 acquired through marriage). I have 2 birth children and one adult child, my oldest is technically an adult with a lot of growing up still to do. <br />
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I have lived in 5 different states (moved back to the same state twice) and now back to the same state that I ran from to begin with. <br />
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Call it running from drama, commitment, childhood issues, or whatever, one thing even a blind man can see.....I'M A RUNNER!<br />
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Surprisingly enough though, I'm actually a very strong, independent, RESPONSIBLE woman with an extreme work ethic. The key word here is...EXTREME! My strengths are also my weaknesses. I take independence to a whole new level. I refuse to ask anyone for help, allow anyone to ever think I need help, don't trust anyone to 'do it right' (because lets face it, if I don't do it...IT'S NOT RIGHT), and I always Always ALWAYS have a 'plan B'.<br />
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Since I refuse to let anyone EVER see my weaknesses, I live my life emotionally detached, extremely guarded, and disconnected from all friends and especially family. <br />
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So how did I land ANOTHER HUSBAND? I am actually the best person to ever have on your side. I painfully empathize with any one's struggles, Got your back almost to a fault, not a cheater, can't stand lying, put my family's need before my own, and try as hard as i possibly can prevent my children, my husband, or anyone I can to ever ever have to experience even a morsel the pain I have had to deal with in my life.<br />
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And my life has and still is very painful. If I had to bullet point my life it would be something like this:<br />
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<ul><li>Born in 197(something)</li>
<li>Watched mom's battle with cancer</li>
<li>Turned six</li>
<li>Watched mom lose the battle</li>
<li>Learned how family court works</li>
<li>Discovered not all men are 'good' guys</li>
<li>Turned twelve</li>
<li>Tried to find out for myself if there is a such thing a reincarnation</li>
<li>Hospitalized for that 'experement' in life and death</li>
<li>Diagnosed with 'Depression' and 'Emotionally Handicapped'</li>
<li>Turned fourteen</li>
<li>Was reminded that not all men are 'good' guys</li>
<li>Turned sixteen</li>
<li>Declared as an emancipated minor</li>
<li>Turned eighteen</li>
<li>Began my 'gypsy' journey</li>
<li>Had Baby....</li>
</ul>And it only gets more colorful from there.<br />
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So, What am I trying to accomplish? I don't know. Maybe just to share my experiences. Maybe to show others where NOT to go and what NOT to do, or maybe just to 'write it out'. But one thing I do know.....I'm tired of ignoring the elephant in the room. Its time to acknowledge the obvious!! Time to say what needs to be said . Have those 'Discussions' we have been avoiding!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0